are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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