We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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