whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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