You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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