I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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