We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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