Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
