I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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