i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
