Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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