What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
