On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
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On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
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Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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