She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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