Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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