I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
