She's JV to your varsity
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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