No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
