Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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