Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
