Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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