Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
