So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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