The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Randomize
