I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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