You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Randomize
