You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
