I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
