I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
i came on her dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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