i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
