He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
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