I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
