I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"