Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?