i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?