Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
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Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
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I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus