Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
