fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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