Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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