I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Randomize