Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
