Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
