he wants to bone in the snuggie
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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