My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Randomize