I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
