We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
