I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
