if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize