margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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