she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
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