yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
