it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
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We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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