I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
