Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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