I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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