He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
