Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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