there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
