I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
