"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Randomize
