I'm laying in your front yard are you home
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
