oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
