i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Randomize
