no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize