How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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