ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
