God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
