Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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