am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I think people are normalizing furries
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
