What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
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Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
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I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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