I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
