If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
