p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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