piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
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